It is no mystery why I’ve created this blog. It is the single foremost source of love coming straight from my true beloved’s heart, dedicated to her & the enlightenment of all of you, who keep visiting this page.
On International Women’s Day, I would like to bare my nature as a lover, as I used to love my mate & for everything that I am. With all the unconditional respect & I ask only respect for this piece of article in return. This is something close to my heart & the talk of heart should remain concealed within the realms of heart & higher worlds, is all that I request you all people before you read on. Respect the privacy of this document & please do not reproduce it elsewhere in any form if you respect love in any way, is all I’m asking of you. I would recommend you to turn on the video part as well for a better understanding of the vibrations here.
This is a piece of letter I had written to my love because I wanted to make her realize how I felt about love in its purest form at that time, how she made me resonate with it. Enjoy the read & respect the women in your house & outside.
Love,
Akul.
> From: sibetron@hotmail.com
> To: sernyasahai@rediffmail.com
> CC: sernyasahai@yahoo.co.in
> Subject:
> Date: Thu, 6 Nov 2008 19:10:17 +0530>
> Traces- Light and Weight
>
> Senses. We all eat food. We all know how it all tastes. We breathe air, but we smell roses & periwinkles. White roses, red roses & Rare Blue Roses. The sound of a gong in a temple. We all hear. We all see but through different point of view. We are not machines. But we are as fast. It is good we are not.
>
> Because then, what I see & you see would have no meaning . Would it?
>
> Robots don’t melt at the sight of a cute baby. Or when rocks melt & water flows out, they don’t feel the thirst.
> Senses. Perhaps, an illusion created by electric impulses & sent to the mind. Machines aren’t this gifted.
>
> materialistic world doesn’t matter. But the fast-life that she lives; Is there someone to hold her & say "STOP, close your eyes & enjoy your gift of Silence"
> Completely blank. Then thoughts come in on their own.
>
> Now if she breathes, how grateful we are. We can breathe! How grateful we are, we have eyes to see! How grateful, that we have a higher existence over machines. We are not cold as them. WE can all shut down & cut our senses quiet for a while. This can strengthen with Chaos In Mind. But Grateful we are, this is Not who We Are.
>
> And like a drop of water making ripples in a pond, surrounded by high rising mountains green & blue sky above. Wintery & somewhat conditioned to cold. Clouds passing by reminding us of the sunshine & joy. How Happiness comes in Small Packages!
>
> How lucky we are! How lucky I am to have opened My Eyes. So many people vying for happiness in ‘God Of Small Things’. How lucky I am To Have Got Her. If not for Her, I would have never realized, why opposites exist. Why there is sorrow yet joy. Why there is hatred yet love…with three dots as hers 😉
>
> Senses – not materialistic. It is this world’s opinion. But Senses- if used properly can be channelized to see, hear, smell, taste, touch, feel, contact & meditate upon what nature is trying to show me. We all feel differently.
>
> It is the beauty of Nature. Allow me to express the impossible, to embed feelings, yes you were right feelings are important my angel, into this letter, but if you have time…
>
> Yes, it is not a war. How do you work so hard with an urge to prove your worth? Aren’t you God? Smiling..no..a laughing Buddha.
> So a person who is happy, who needs shelter, who needs to satisfy his thirst cannot be made to sit down & taught in a school or anywhere.
> If his primary needs are satisfied, his stomach is full, he has had a good nights sleep, then he can move on from his daily chaotic life disturbances in life & search for peace & enlightenment.
>
> Why are you still reading my letter? Anyhow, this is not the conclusion. But the conclusion is that everybody’s ultimate aim in the world is to satisfy all their desires & be pleased. SO? What would happen if they got that? They all say, i hear Peace. What is so fascinating about happiness & Peace?!
>
> Hmmmm..a temple, which is empty. (Imagine how can a Hindu temple be silent!) But still, let us proceed as I’ve been to such a temple.
>
> Grey & clay colored pillars. Beautifully scriptured walls & fascinating carvings. Description of God. A gong in the middle of it. I’m climbing the stairs. I ring the bell loud then slow. I’m right under it. There is a cave to my right. Water trickles down by its sides in little narrow streams. A whole forest is above it. I enter this cold & shivery cave. Many bells start ringing by themselves. Bells like in our temples. But there is no one. Only silence follows the cool breeze, which makes the bells ring. Water drops in ponds beside like it makes sounds in the earthen pots. When women carry water half-filled in earthen pots on their heads, the water makes a funny noise, touching the walls of the pot. A harmonious beat & with these bells a mystic sound. It is not funny anymore. I proceed further. In the background, with swooshes of wind in time, a flight of stairs lead me to a haunted castle. I’m in some old dark ages European castle. There is nobody.
>
> Voices of knights, cavalries & horses fading away. There’s the chamber of the queen. Some ages back, there were gold pots & ornaments there. Angles from far off lands came to dance & perform rituals here & protect them all.
>
> A piano starts playing. A lady starts calling in high pitch. Just one single musical note but.
> Strange..Coldness runs through my body sending shivers through my spine. It is so quiet here.
>
> The sun would set soon. Water trickling down making such beautiful symphony with bells & that piano. But where is that voice coming from?
>
> I enter the hall, it is massively built & pillars at the corners. A fireplace on the opposite end. Carpets & chandeliers all over. This must have been where kings would have honored their brave knights. Glorious Past!
>
> A flight of round stairs around the rotunda built on a stepped dais in the hall leads me to one of the Castle’s Towers.
>
> Yes! the voice of the haunting lady comes from this way. Fading symphony of the bells, a crystalline noise. I reach to the guards room, the towers in the castle are checkpoints, overlooking a once glorious shining kingdom.
>
> A half lit moon, golden & stars shining bright. A river flows by thecastle as I look down from the open window made of bricks on the tower. I look back hurriedly. I shout " Who Goes There?!" A strange lady passes behind the room’s open doors, wearing a white silken dress, the music fits perfectly with her calls. Who is she calling?
>
> "Just One Note Musical? So fast she goes."
> The Night is beautiful. Patches of forests all around. I feel safe & yet haunted by this lady. But I am at Peace here. As if this the place I’ve been looking for. Grass lands in acres follow disappearing unto the horizon beyond my visible sight.
>
> Is she a lost soul? Or does she need something? Is she in pain? Or is somebody dead for whom she’s calling for? What does she want? Can I be of help?
>
> "Such a lovely place. So it was a trap. After all huh? Would she kill me?!!"
>
> And my little boyish legs take me down again to that hall.
> "Ah! I am, I feel, the King of this place..ha ha. I feel Good!"
>
> I spend the night there. Whatever I desire,as if fairies come & give it to me. When I need to eat, I see a bowl full of fruits at the table. And there is water. And first there wasn’t any light. Now there are candles. The haunting lady too I can see, flashes of her, passing by at sheer speed, like that of cold breeze!
>
> "Okay now i know she’s the one blowing the winds around here huh". She looks happy now. This castle feels cozy. Bed is king size large & cushions in plenty. And I am all of a sudden not feeling lonely in my life, though this place is empty. But is is not if you can sense it.
>
> This haunting voice that’s been calling me led me to this place. Things fit well.
>
> But when I go near that flying lady, she runs away. Hey, but she never goes away. I can feel her, sense her near me always. Like an angel, invisible but always taking care of me.
> "Is she the one putting all the food on the table?" *confused*
>
> Anyhow, she’s been good to me. But I want to play too! Why doesn’t she then come near like a normal woman. Is she a spirit? Can I touch her? Can I feel her soft skin?
> ****
> Nights pass by like this. The lady & I have become quite acquainted to each others presence. She has a glow now. She’s not all that Hollywood special FX transparent now.
> "Seems like she has become full..err..full of something, like red, blood & flesh"
>
> But she still gets annoyed & hurries away from me when I come near her, to sympathize her. Anyway, she never hurts me. But I feel like I’m hurting her. Then, why did her voice I heard led me here, if she doesn’t want me? Should I leave then?
>
> So one morning I prepare to leave. As I walk through the corridors from the Kings suit to the Castle’s exit, the flames burning in the hallway extinguish. Winds start blowing furiously.
>
> Things are flying. Water doesn’t trickle anymore, its is leaking! The walls I touched once have gone colder.
> "What is happening!"
>
> "It is not peaceful anymore.."
> Anyhow, I don’t bother since I’m leaving. On the stairway, for the first time in my life, i feel like I’ve done something sinful, wrong!
> She isn’t flying anymore! She sits & I have a feeling she’s weeping. But her face is under her arms.
>
> I can’t deny the fact that few days & nights here have been magical, mysteriously not a horror but exciting & thrilling & lovely!
>
> I come closer to her. She looks at me, turning her face towards me very angrily.
>
> "Dude, now I’m gone! God save the lad!"
>
> Her Eyes have gone ash purple like a witch. Yes, she seems upset. Her hair have gown shining white like a rabbits fur. She still looks full & beautiful. But what is this! Blood drains out of her down, as bells ring violently now. I see something beating on her chest but I can’t make out. She just doesn’t want to show. She starts fading, turning all white with silken draped clothes. In am minute or two if somebody didn’t give her glucose, she would become as translucent as a haunting ghost again! "Oh what have I done.."
>
> I put my luggage down. Her back is facing me. I come closer. She looks through the open windows. The Moon is golden waxed & full tonight. How days turn into nights here….
> Does this all depend on her mood? Dried leaves crumble under my feet as I walk towards her. I feel bad. She must be ghastly ghostly & scary from outside but these few days I have seen a little girl playing in her. Don’t I just..well leave it. I reach towards her to touch her shoulders. And this time, she is not airy…grasses turn yellow, it means the harvesting season is here. Dry fruits fall off from trees. It means winter has hit. It may snowfalls anytime soon.
>
> And I’m able to touch her for the very first time. She doesn’t move or erupt or explode as I thought like those in Hollywood FX flicks.
> "kay so you’re real".
>
> "I’ve always been real" making such a face I feel like a stupid donkey.
>
> Soft as I imagined, smooth like anything, tender like petals of a blossomed flower. The bells go slow, water starts beating again with the music. The Castle turns airy again..swoosh.
> The armors of the knights hung on the walls, start shining again. Candles get lit up on their own. Scattered clouds give way to a Magnificent Moonlit Aura across the sky falling on her face.
>
> The reflection of the moon on her face turns her white but she’s al fleshy now. I can feel her under my arms. There’s a bond.
> Her face shines like moon & in a matter of moments, the moons & hers reflection on my Iris would flare up.
>
> "I Cannot see! I Cannot See a Thing!!" I have never been this nervous & scared of death! But somehow her arms around me make me stronger. There’s a new sense of energy. I feel ALIVE!
>
> I can feel her holding me tight. Maybe very tight i do not know because I want to see her more but my eyes have gone all white. I’m blinded by it.
>
> "What is happening?!!"
>
> The harder she crushes me, holding me, something starts flowing unto me. I Rise above & I’m in the air literally! The music has become SO FAST, all i hear summed up is a Single Note!
>
> Just the way she’s been calling. She has become all fluid now, as if boiling with melted butter or pot of gold or something. She’s looking very beautiful. Her golden strands and highlights around her lips and neck and eyes and supple soft skin, all so unreal. Her hair flying as wind hurries away around us like a tornado.
>
> She looks in my eyes deep as if asking "didn’t you know who I am?"
>
> And I Don’t know why I laugh out hard as madly as if I’m going to give my last laugh of my life.
>
> And I see a twitch at the crack of her lips. She gives way to a happy expression. A little smile draws in with pleasure on her face. And it all starts there…and it all ends there. The energy around us is so pure everything gets in us and gets burst & we disappear into nothingness under that moon glory.
>
> Last thing I felt was my left side was not me, it was softer & some other thoughts were running in my mind too! Some Traces..of other being, $oul. There was a difference in my Weight too. There was more Light. I was tender on my left & harder on my right & my hand to the left was like hers! My God have we become One !
>
> Well, don’t I Just love Her! Disappeared into nothingness like that, into space, into Peace..with the Ancient person of my Heart.
>
> –Hope I was able to express my love for you. It’s like when you touch me, everything is Possible.
>
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> * *
> * * *
> * *
> *I Love You*
> *
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>
>
Buddha'$ Eye 
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